And you're insured by the car dealer when you're test-driving, too.

I'm very touched. Sassi got me a s'mores cupcake from Crumbs, Phi made me a playlist; Traci, Teresa and Patrick have offered me a listening ear if I need one. Food and music are panacea for the body; friends are panacea for the soul. Funny how these people have actually done nicer things for me without being obligated to than the person who was at least semi-obligated. The people I am supposed to be less close to surprise me with nice things out of their own volition. I feel very undeserving of their concern, considering how indifferently I've been treating them. And to think how the person whom I've treated the best regards me with the most indifference!
For a while I've been feeling like a venting ground; I felt like I've been giving up so much of myself while I had to patiently bear my own fears, neuroses and insecurities, in the vain hope that one day my kindness will be reciprocated, that one day I will be heard for a change, that I will be appreciated. That hope was dashed, and the solitude I felt was unbearable. But these little gestures of concern cheer me up - my fragile faith in humanity, might just recover once more, albeit slowly and painstakingly. I am very grateful for these acts of kindness.
It's so easy for me to lapse into hardened cynicism - to become a serial player, to test-drive boys like I was test-driven.

Test-driving is exhilarating. You can excite in the smell of the new leather; the feel of the gear stick within your grip; the warm, rich and crisp notes from the speakers entering your ears; the sight of the the freeway hurling towards you as the car dealer seated next to you whitens in trepidation. You like driving the car. It's almost like an extension of your will - you turn the steering wheel ever so slightly and the car swerves; you floor the gas pedal and the car speeds forward; you push the brakes and the car comes to a smooth halt. It's as if the car conformed to your every wish and command. The car not only looks good, but you have this amazing synergy with it, almost as if the car was designed for you.

You feel a sense of ownership without actually having to pay for it; the fun without the monthly instalments. You seem pretty thrilled about being in the driver's seat, but you think back to your dream car you saw through a shop window. Or maybe on your test-drive, a flashier car caught your fancy. You think to yourself, you like this car, but you're not sure if you like it enough. There are so many other cars out there. If you don't like the others you'll try, you can always come back to this one. Besides, you haven't invested anything in this - you have nothing to lose! You've had your fill of fun. You cruise back to the showroom, telling the dealer how much you enjoyed the drive but need more time to think it over. You apologise to the car dealer for his trouble, thank him for his time, and whistle chirpily as you head towards the next showroom.

No one buys the first car they test-drive, do they.