Going back to the start.

I painted something.


Red rose of doom. It looks vaguely menstrual, doesn't it? I didn't intend for it to look menstrual; it just turned out that way.


This is something my floormate did. A vaguely alien-looking embryo-like... thing.

A couple of funny things happened today. I was in the elevator with Jun and Patrick, and during our descent the elevator stopped on one of the floors. I didn't see anyone, so I just hit the door close button. But there was someone, and Patrick playfully rebuked me for closing the door on someone. And that guy jokingly went, "Is it because I'm white?" I should have said, "Yes, it's because you're white. And I'm fucking azn." People here do make a lot of racist remarks, but it's all in good fun.

And oh, Patrick had a bad back and decided to sprawl on the floor, and Jun somehow thought it'd help if I trampled on his back because I'm so light it couldn't possibly hurt him, and yea, it apparently provided some kind of relief. It felt so odd to be stepping all over someone's back, though. It is intimate in the weirdest way - felt almost fetishy? I don't know.

I was wearing toe socks, and the white people (Matt, Barrett and Patrick) were all really intrigued by it. Matt actually went, "Can I touch them?" Fucking hilarious. White people!

Is flirting irresponsible if you aren't actually that into them? Like you're only flirting in response to someone who likes you back, flirting back just to be nice? But then what came to mind was that flirting can both indicate AND cultivate interest, so even if I didn't reciprocate interest at first, flirting wouldn't be irresponsible because I'd be trying to cultivate interest. I don't know. This shit messes with my head. I hate milling about trying to read people's minds. People are fucking confusing, goddamit.

I'm looking at my retarded Twitter feed and I've got so much junk going on in there. I've got this tweet, though: "It's hard to stop liking someone when you don't talk to him often or deeply enough to know how truly undesirable he can be." I astound myself with my own wisdom. Hur.