Impending doom.

This is a forwarded email I received.

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this 'ICE' (In Case of Emergency Campaign

The concept of 'ICE' is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name 'ICE' ( In Case Of Emergency).

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as 'ICE.'

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile Phones today.

Please forward this. It won't take too many 'forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest . ICE will speak for you when you are not able to.

This email happened to coincide with what I've been thinking about today; nay, for a really long time since the reality of dying in a freak accident occurred to me. I just never got depressed enough to blog about it.

If I were to do the ICE thing, whose numbers would I save? Definitely my parents, but who else after that? I'm sure my parents would inform the school if I'm dead, so everyone in NJ would be covered. After family, it gets a bit tough. What if people whom I deem important enough don't actually care all that much about me? It'd be kinda embarrassing, wouldn't it?

Paramedic: "Hi, is this XXX? Your friend He Jin is critically injured from being crushed under an MRT train/hit by a speeding car/impaled by a falling branch. Would you care to come down to XXX Hospital?

XXX: Huh? He Jin? Who?

And then there's the problem of my blog. I deem my blog as quite a big part of my life, and I certainly would like to let my blog readers know if I'm dead. But no one else has my password, so what's gonna happen? My blog is just gonna remain stagnant? It's a creepy feeling to have the possessions of the dead still lying around. An ex-DHS student, Miss Patrina Chew (she was my relief teacher) passed away from cancer. But I still had her on my MSN contacts list. It felt really eerie. Like, what if she suddenly came online...

Maybe I should pass someone trusted all my passwords, so in case I die, someone can at least make a public announcement on my blog/Friendster that I'm dead. Or at least have the decency to shut down my accounts. I don't want these things to get dusty, y'know. But whom can I trust enough?

I think I should make a note as to what I would like to be wearing in my coffin. I don't want my parents picking something fugly and I'll have to be laid to rest in something that I have in my wardrobe just because. I would like to wear the black Topshop figure-hugging dress that I never got around to wearing. I only have one black Topshop dress, so it shouldn't be too hard to spot. I would also like to wear my new brown booties, because they're absolutely adorable. Please apply eyeliner and mascara, and just a light coat of lip gloss would do. Hmmm. Maybe eyeliner and mascara wouldn't matter because my eyes would be closed, no need to accentuate them.

Hopefully, my obituary photo wouldn't be one of those glum passport photo ones. I would love to have a series of photos depicting happier times, but they're all with friends and I doubt they'll want their face up there.

Who shall be invited to my funeral? Honestly, I wouldn't want people whom I'm not familiar with to attend it. Granted, pitifully few people would attend, but at least that guarantees some semblance of intimacy, and hypocrisy wouldn't be a problem.

Then there's the problem of estranged friends. Even if we didn't part on very good terms, the friendship we once had meant something, didn't it? Should these people be invited? Perhaps I should just live and let live and bury all the old grudges. Along with my dead corpse, haha.

Would my parents know who to invite? They don't know half the names of the people I interact with. My parents identify my friends by where they live and what school they go to, and they don't exactly have the best of memories either.

To die and not be remembered must be horrible. I think that's why people make friends. At least their legacy lives on in their friends' memories. Perhaps this tells me that I need to establish better relationships with people. It's been an interesting thought experiment.

It's funny how grief does two things to people. Either they become hypersensitive, or they become numb. I used to take the latter approach. This time, I think I'm doing hypersensitive. Everything seems to be calling out to me and teaching me lessons. I'm taking a different perspective on many things, and well, I must say it's been very enlightening.

New Year resolutions, perhaps? I've stopped making them ever since god knows when because I never fulfill them. Anyway, I like to say that I don't need a new year to make myself do things. I do things when I want to. I don't need a fucking new year to improve myself, dammit.

I just spent the last ten minutes typing and backspacing. Repressed, much?