A right to brag, weddings are.

I went to my mother's mother's younger brother's daughter's wedding dinner just now. Quite a mouthful, isn't it? The bride in question is something like my auntie, once removed. Weddings are such food for thought, aren't they? I hardly go to weddings, because invites are usually exclusive to my parents only. However, my dad didn't want to go to the wedding, so there I was. Before I ramble on about the wedding, do keep in mind that a marriage and a wedding are two, quite different things.

There was so much stimuli going on, that my brain could hardly keep up. It's times like these I wish I brought around a notebook to jot down notes. Such an approach kills two birds with one stone - I get to pen down my thoughts lest they slip my mind, and I also get to look like a really cool introspective intellectual who thinks too much for her own good. However, my firm belief that anything sufficiently important will automatically retain itself in my memory dissuades me from carrying around a notepad. Because I have faith in my brain's ability to retain important information and weed out unnecessary fluff, I feel that taking down notes are redundant. However, my firm belief of relying on pure memory is restricted to interesting things I see, because crucial stuff like homework and assignments HAVE to be noted down.

It occurred to me how superficial my relations are. Practically everyone at my table wore Rolex watches. It's almost a competition to see whose Rolex is the biggest, baddest and sparkliest. The only uncle who didn't have a Rolex on wore another watch which I couldn't identify, but I'm dead sure it's some top-end watch, seeing how he drove his fancy Ferrari to the dinner. When the bride and groom showed up, my mum nudged me: "Eh, the man quite handsome hor. And both of them are graduates."

It seems like it's quite an important thing to have a university degree and good looks. In another wedding I went to, the groom was around a decade older than the young bride who was in her early 20s. Everyone agreed that the groom was ugly, but they all concluded by saying, "At least he treats her well." Isn't that supposed to be the most important quality? Good looks fade, and academic qualifications say little. (I beg to differ, but in the interest of soppiness, yes) It really struck me hard, like, yes, of course it's important that my husband treat me well, but do I really want to marry someone who would be condemned by society's standards? Maybe I'm just much too concerned with superficial things like reputation, image and status. Otherwise, looks, paper qualifications and money wouldn't matter, would they?

"Will you love her, respect her, take care of her in times of sickness, and remain faithful to your wife?"

"In this binding union of love..."

When I heard the wedding vows, I had this internal scoff thing going on. He had to ask if they were voluntarily marrying each other, out of their own free will. Hmmm. What's free will, anyway? Hurhur. What if I suddenly blurt something like, "No, I don't really want to marry him, but my sister and mother says he's a good man."

Marriage isn't as binding as he says it to be. People get divorced, don't they? Marriage is a social institution so prone to dissolution! Marriage isn't really that much of a big deal anymore, is it? Makes me wonder if I'll ever get married. I suppose I eventually will have to, and produce descendants, but currently it seems to be quite a distant reality.

Oh yea, in the same vein as superficiality, I realised that both the mothers of the married couple were dressed in seriously glittery garments. They shone, literally. It's quite blinding when they stand on stage, making toasts. Mothers. Showing off, and flaunting like flamboyant peacocks. That's why I think wedding dinners are just for show. For one, the couple probably know less than half of the guests, because most of them are old farts their parents invite to impress. It's hardly romantic, and neither is it beneficial to the marrying process. One potential benefit is that relations from either spouse get to mingle, seeing how the unifying act of marriage has binded them together as one, but that's highly unlikely as most people go to wedding dinners to stuff their faces anyway.

The most romantic part of the whole thing was when the groom crooned a self-written song and strummed a guitar for his bride. Even though he didn't sing very well, it's really the thought that counts. Quite aww-inducing. The emcee was like, "Hey, don't you think the groom deserves a kiss?" So they kissed, which was quite cute. But still, choreographed.

Hmmm. Another reason why weddings are basically an official way to brag about your spending capability is the amount of wastage that goes on. It's incredibly environmentally unfriendly! I personally think the idea of sharks' fin is quite cruel. But well, traditionally Chinese, and Chinese people love showing off. I had this brainwave to have an environmentally-friendly sort of wedding. Basically, no exotic foods, and possibly outdoor. But eww I dislike outdoor so ok, it will never happen.

And the waiters are made to do the silliest things. I still don't really get why they have to make such a grand entrance when they serve the first course. It's cheesy, the way they saunter in in a row, with glowing candles on the serving plates. I suppose it makes for a dramatic effect. And the mat waiter of my table was lectured for rolling his sleeves up. I don't blame him, because his jacket was horribly oversized for his tiny frame, but well, all in the name of looking good!

So many things are done just to look good, eh. Basically that's just the gist of this entire post, which is neither very cohesive nor persuasive, but my brains are a little addled and I cannot think clearly.

The washroom at Amara Hotel has mirrors everywhere, though. Pretty amazing. Even in the cubicle, there are mirrors lining the three walls from shoulder up, so I can see how I look before and after I pee. Hohoho.

If you are wondering how I managed to remember so much of the wedding, I recorded down stuff in my phone lah. Which made me look like a rude teenager of today who does nothing but continually tap-tap-tap on the phone, but in the interest of blogging, anything goes!

Weddings are always shiny. Something somewhere has got to sparkle. It's either jewellery, or sequins, or rhinestones, or diamantes, or tiaras, or body glitter, or hair glitter, or lighting effects.

Maybe for my future wedding I'll invite all my past schoolmates, so I can go: "Eheheh suckers, my husband is better than YOURS!" That's provided I have a husband worth showing off; otherwise I'll just stage a quiet, private ceremony and no one will know I'm married until they see me pushing a stroller in the streets with crazy ah-soh hair.