Characters:
Him, Me, Manager
***
Me: [minding my own business, when He appears beside me)
Me: What are you doing? (It's not an interrogative question. It's an abbrieviated version of "What task are you scheduled to be doing?")
Him, twinkly-eyed smile: Nothing.
Me, congenially: Nothing to do ah? Then come and accompany me lor.
[random chatter, with both of us positioned back-to-back]
Him: Do you have a boyfriend? (Not unusual coming from him, because I've heard him ask a male colleague if he had a girlfriend, and when responded to in the positive, proceeded to ask if she was beautiful.)
Me, deadpans: No. [insert self-deprecating comment about inability to get boyfriend] Why?
Him: Are you lesbian?
Me, wide-eyed in shock/horror: NO. Do I look lesbian? I look lesbian? I look lesbian. Oh my god. No wonder guys don't like me. It's because they think I'm lesbian! [continue rant] (Is it the bleached streak in my hair? Does it look too subversive? Maybe I should dye it back to black.)
Him: [ambiguous interjections of "are you?", "maybe" and "don't know".]
Him: When are you quitting?
Me: End July, definitely. Why?
Him: Will I get to see you after that?
Me: Ehhhh. Very hard lah. Why?
Him: When is your off day?
Me: Tomorrow. Why?
Him: I want to ask you out.
Me: Why you want to ask me out? Are you interested in me?
Him: Ya.
Me: Why are you interested in me?
Him: Because you are very quiet.
Manager, with unending enthusiasm: I need you to do something! Please follow me!
Him: Okay.
Exeunt.
***
I think even if we had made eye contact, the conversation would still have proceeded similarly. He answered quickly and concisely to my "shi wan ge wei shen me" AKA why-why-why questioning. Almost as if he were prepared for it! But not having to make eye contact helped in maintaining the illusion of a calm and controlled exchange, definitely.
Assuming that he is not merely joking, I find it fascinating that he is interested in me because I am quiet. AH-HAH! So I don't have to be a vapid chatterbox to be worth being interested in, yes? I don't have to be associated with terms like fun and bubbly yet still have some degree of attractiveness! I am mildly relieved yet very surprised that I am attractive the way I am. Even though I am now fat, unfit and in dire need of a haircut/colour job. I don't have to pretend to be interested in other people's sordid affairs, I sometimes ask socially inappropriate questions yet still get away with it, etc. I have this idea that I would only be attracted to me if I were a version 2.0 of myself.
I think that at this point in time, possibly at least five people (and not all of them male, zomg) are interested in me and/or have indicated that they find me attractive, and it is a very strange feeling to have. I'm think I'm still attracting losers, though - unless someone wants to prove me wrong?
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