Coming of age

The university thing is generating a lot of flak/support. I guess it's something that a lot of people can identify with - pursue a dream or go down a route of perceived practicality; just that my version in this turn of events involve a 15,000 km distance and lots and lots of money.

I'm not sure whether more or less people think that their parents owe them an education, but taking into account the people I've been exposed to and the way I've been brought up, I'm inclined to think that yes, parents do owe their children an education, and the very best that they can afford. If not, why have kids at all? Why bring children in the world only to have them rough it out? Then again, there's always that dilemma of letting children learn things the hard way or shielding them from difficulties. I am not a parent - and looking at how things are turning out now, am terrified at the idea of being one. Seems like that there's practically nothing to gain from having children - in fact you're just bringing up a person that will put you through emotional and moral diuress for the rest of your life. Not to mention that people are extremely expensive creatures to bring into the world. While genes are still accounted for, people try to beat genetic odds via education and/or surgery. It's survival of the richest.

I did two unusual but nevertheless enjoyable things today. First I scaled Bukit Timah Hill (fwah tiring but shiok), then I visited NJC. Visiting NJ was a move that wasn't planned. I was looking at the bus directory at the bus stop, and when I saw that NJ will be on almost every bus route, casually mentioned, "Let's visit NJ!" Stepping into the compound felt like no time at all had passed since I graduated. I was asked what I missed about NJC. Two things I mentioned: a sense of belonging, and the intellectual challenge. It's not really the community spirit that I miss, because I've never been a ra-ra student. What I miss is belonging to an institution where there is an unspoken agreement that everyone is aiming for the same thing. Being a student is so simple. Your goals are clearly marked out for you, you don't have to decide what you want and all you need to do is do what you need to do. Life was dominated by trivial issues like whether the guy I liked knew I liked him or whether I have enough time to do my homework. As for the intellectual challenge that I'm missing, I have to constantly dumb down the way I talk nowadays. Either that, or I have to repeat and explain myself - a communication breakdown that is already exacerbated by the differences in accents. JC kids (or at least the people I hung out with) had no qualms about waxing lyrical about our future and our worries - utterly intangible concerns at that point in time, now glaringly real. Recently I met up with a secondary school friend, and once again we revisited the old favourite topic of "Who do you think will get married first?" In as early as a couple of years, the answers to those naive speculations will soon materialise, and I'm not sure if knowing what really happens will be as fun as speculating about it.

So far, my supporters have been giving me a lot of strength but I wish they could all collectively help me do the persuading. I am very tired.