I realised that all along my difficulty in connecting with the generic friendly person is because I bore the misconception that unabandoned restraint in announcing one's immediate concerns constitutes as friendliness. While this is true, it does not cover for the possibility of an inquisitive, interested friendly person - as opposed to an interesting friendly person. My mindset regarding chattiness is like the typical introvert's: Don't say anything unless you have something worth saying. While extroverts, if I'm not wrong, think that others should carry their burden of the conversation. Trust me, I wouldn't have gotten the extroverts' perspective on talking if it weren't for a book that I recently read, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You.
These two modes of friendliness work well, though they both have their shortcomings. The other-centric, or interested friendly person can come across as intrusive or interogative because of excessive questioning, or might even be viewed as guarded because he or she keeps his/her cards close to his/her chest while constantly checking others' out. Yet, the egocentric/interesting friendly person could come across as self-centred, unconcerned, and possibly, uninteresting. But he/she's probably too self-centred to care, ha ha.
- An acquaintance told me of her first date with someone new, and she cooed, "We went to Swensens leh!" That's a bit anti-climactic. Swensens. Eh? While I understand that not everyone's budget might allow for a fancier place, I think some inventiveness would more than make up for the lack of funds! I'm not really a fan of chain restaurants that are specifically designed to make the middle-class feel like they're in for a treat because typically the food and service is mediocre and I'd much rather sweat my face out eating good food at a hawker centre. But yea, cooing over Swensens? =/ Though I guess, having to abide by halal rules might cramp one's style...
- Have NO CLUE why people still BOTHER to celebrate the ex-civics tutor's birthday. Like, seriously. Were they THAT close to her? Was she THAT nice? Why do people care?! She has her new civics class that will pamper her to death what! But I can totally understand if you need a testimonial from her. Totally. Heh. I'm guessing that the celebration was just an excuse to have a class gathering of sorts.
- Had a really fun/funny day where I ripped a packet of sugar and poured it onto the table in a restaurant to make a miniature Zen sand garden , then free-handed a wobbly "sorry" from the salt shaker.
2 comments:
Depending on how we look at it, I'd say there're many more kinds of friendliness that could be named depending on their causes. I do agree with your theory on friendly people but it feels like the reason behind a person being friendly would makes it harder to place them under a choice of just two categories...
In Psychology, we'd like to think of personality traits, such as extroversion, to not be judged as an issue with mere "yes" or "no" answers. You can be a little extroverted, or moderately extroverted. As such, I'd like to think that there are many out there would posses a decent balance of characteristics from your two friendliness groups. Those, in their particular circumstances, who are able to ask an appropriate number of questions and yet, reveal enough of themselves to encourage openness and to show trust, seem to be the ideal friendly person to be with don't you think? Someone who's interesting and yet, interested!(Assuming of course, that all else are appropriate...) I often find myself striving to be that sort of person in my conversations but guess it isn't always easy finding out about your progress unless someone spills it out for you...Anyway, even if such people don't come by often, it's still nice to see interactions involving people from the two groups balancing out each other's flaws. May seem unnerving from the outside but if the interaction persists and re-occurs voluntarily, it just means they having a good time and we can't really argue with that:)
I understand how you feel about those middle-class restaurants but guess some do need places like that make them feel they can be in an expensive eating environment without having to pay too much. I'm with you though, preferring to eat good food at a hawker centre...or burn holes (and that;'s plural) in my wallet eating food insanely expensive AND of ridiculously high quality once in a long long time, probably from all the money saved from not going frequenting...well, the middle-class places you were talking about...unless of course their services or food are of appropriate standard?;)
eight: Of course there are a lot more types of friendliness, I definitely cannot cover everything in a hastily-written blog post, yes? It's just easier to get ideas across when you simplify them, sometimes excessively.
Okay lah, it's not that I entirely shun those masstige restaurants, it's just that with regards to food I feel that there is so much good food out there that I've yet to try, so I'd really rather eat at a swelteringly hot hawker centre than the same old mediocre food.
Also, those masstige restaurants have perks such as comfort without the bill, and being everywhere. If I'm bored walking out with my friends and I haven't got any food I want to try in the vicinity, we'll just pop into a cafe - not for the food, but for the comfort.
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