Not good enough for philosophy.

Why is everyone busy getting a life, huh? I must be the only person out there who doesn't have one. How sad. Sometimes I think of all the opportunities I've had, but how I am rejecting them one by one and denying myself the glamour of "having a life". I'm actually making a conscious decision to be alone! Something must be wrong with me. I think I crave less social contact than the average person. :S

I've a KI essay to do. I'm screwing it up big-time. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm really cut out for something as intellectually gruelling as KI. At some point in my train of thought when I'm ruminating over a key philosophical issue, my thought processes will suddenly hit a kink, and I wonder why the hell I bother to think about inconsequential shit like the meaning of life or the origin of the universe or whatever. Will there ever be any answers? No. Well, so what if I one day chance upon the answer? KI may deal with the bigger issues, but it is the more down-to-earth GP issues that are more imminent and pressing.

But the one thing I definitely like about KI is its exclusivity. Sometimes I just think over how amazing it was I passed the selection test, when about 50 to 60 people took it and a mere twenty or so people passed. In addition, I was the first one to leave the room after about twenty minutes of churning out whatever bullshit I could think of, because I thought it was a gone case by then.

I attempted sleeping at 7.45pm and I've failed miserably. I was awfully tired. Was getting my daily dose of philosophy reclining comfortably on my bed when I dozed off. School just saps the energy out of you. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but school has this amazing effect of zapping out all your energy into oblivion. I think it's meant to be converted into turbo boost brain power but things don't work out so ideally.

I ended up tossing and turning on the bed, thinking about my pathetic excuse of a KI essay and about an article I read in today's health supplement, Mind Your Body. It mentioned how females find the unadultered scent of male sweat alluring. A long long time ago when I first read about it, I thought it was bullshit because how can anyone think putrid body odour is alluring?

Then came evidence to the contrary. There was someone whom I didn't see around much, but whose scent of light perspiration I found mysteriously attractive. That one particular time, the potent combination of deodorant mingling with the smell of sweat proved to be a rather heady concoction indeed. It was quite weird; an experience unlike any other. It's like, *wham*, "What's that I sniff? Smells good. (But it's sweat, omg, my cultured self says.)" I suddenly felt like I've been stripped down to my primitive origins. Like, I'm actually part of the animal kingdom in the process of what could be some bizarre mating ritual, or something.

My little brother says that if a female finds the scent of a sweaty male alluring, they're probably biologically compatible, whatever that means.

I find the idea of transhumanism intriguing, which is the evolution of Man. I think when that time comes when we've evolved to become higher beings, we'd probably have a hand in shaping ourselves because of genetic engineering and all that jazz. We'd be a bunch of superhuman beings with increased speed, increased brainpower and regenerating limbs. That's pretty cool.

If I ever were to volunteer at IMH, I think I will end up treating the patients like kids or animals, dismissing their queer behaviour with a wave of a hand because they are lower life-forms due to their impaired mental health. Upon reflection, I think there are likely to be more sane patients who'd enjoy a stimulating conversation when they're not suffering from a relapse of some sort. I don't think they'll like very much to be belittled. They may be mentally unsound, but I'm sure they still want to keep their self-esteem intact.

I am glad that I am able to do some good in this world, because I convinced Ner to drop Econs for Lit. And she's all the better for it, because Econs is the dreariest subject possible and I do not, for the life of me, know how it ever got to be categorized as an Arts subject. Now, instead of sacrificing all her time to "useful" subjects, she has one subject that she can revel in. Silver lining of grey clouds, light at the end of the tunnel kind of thing, y'know? Ner, cheer up a little and let's meet up soon. I currently feel kinda shitty as well, so maybe we can wallow in self-imposed misery togethaaaar. Hurhurhur.

Oh, speaking about Lit, Mr Whitby's my favourite teacher so far. He'll probably be on my Happy Teacher's Day card list. Plus, he said my shoes were cute. :D That's two thumbs up for him. Well, my civics tutor also said my shoes were cute, but I think she's less likely to appreciate the underlying meaning behind the seemingly comical depiction of toilet stick figures. She is a math teacher after all. -.-

I want to be so thin, light, airy, that I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.

Nice quote, eh. And it's rather appropriate, seeing how it's been pouring the entire day. I highlighted the words in pretty pastel colours because the quote made me think of a lithe, dryad-like maiden adorned in a concoction of floaty chiffons and silks in the prettiest pastels, prancing about as if she weighed nothing. Well, I did get the quote from a pro-ana site, but it's still pretty. Ha, don't worry about me turning anorexic; I lack that kind of self-discipline.

I'm supposed to become wiser with age, but I think I'm becoming stupider and stupider. I feel like staying up all night. Tired physically, but my brain's wide awake. I can sleep any time of the day, but just not when I'm supposed to.

I am rambling. Rambling filters residual dregs from my intellect. I just re-watched the Jerk It Out video I recorded from 2005's Teacher's Day celebration. I THINK it is Teacher's Day. Omg damn super duper lame. But soooo hilarious. Co-ed schools are da shit. Hur!